I keep talking about “Reinventing myself in your 40s” Funny how I always seem to go one step forward and two steps back. I got to the last day of Les Mills Pump and actually never did it, but instead spent 3 days in bed with a migraine and chugging countless over the counter pain meds until I literally made myself very ill. Does this even sound like someone who is “Re-inventing” them selves? I thought I was on a really good path, I was blogging a lot, was posting on facebook and twitter a lot and getting some great feedback but then I just slowly lost interest and hardly been posting at all. I have not even been getting much into the social media trainings that I actually do love and makes me feel great when I’m getting into it so not sure why the desire is just not there!
So, not to get into a self pity party, I assuming if I really want to re-invent myself now then I need to figure out who I am, what I am willing to change and what I can change and what I am physically able to change and then to be smart enough to accept what I cant change! Sure, I wrote an “ABOUT ME” but it was mostly about the finding of Beachbody fitness, my fibromyalgia and so on but I have not ever mentioned that I come from a family that nobody really talks to each other and as a result of that, I have realized that my two sons, who are soon to be ages 21 and 23 resort to shutting family members out as well, This is something that goes way back to even my mom and her siblings and as a kid I used to wonder why we just never went to see other family members on holidays and stuff and never been to each others house. You would think that someone just needs to be the better person and rise above and get everyone together but i’ve tried several times and kept trying but then one day came to the conclusion that if everyone is not on the same thinking with this then it just isn’t gonna happen! It’s a shame and I hate it! I try to focus mainly on my kids and my husband and that’s not an everyday situation either as my husband does not really like my kids and for typical teenage stuff and anyone out there with teenagers probably know what I am talking about LOL but im certain that will change as my kids get older and more responsible and so on but still, its so hard to be in the middle of this! I am always like the “mediator” so to speak and just want everyone to get a long and like each other! This might all sound like non-sense but its something that is always on my mind!
I also desperately miss my kids, and not really because I moved from PA to Texas but I miss them needing me and I miss school shopping and buying them all the stuff they needed! I really enjoyed all that and liked the responsibility! But then came the time that I had to choose to not provide everything for them because they needed to start being responsible for themselves and as a mother, that is the hardest thing I ever had to do! They were mad at me, heck, other family members were mad at me as well, I was told over and over again “You are there mother and you are responsible for them” so then tell me this, when is it ok to let your kids grow up?? LOL
So, who am I really? I am just a shy girl from PA who now lives in Texas, I am a nice persona and nice to everyone, I am not perfect by any means and made several mistakes in the past BUT so did everyone else! A few months ago I simply gave a week notice to my job that I was moving and I was very glad to leave this job as I had been harassed and bullied pretty much the entire time I worked there from
Sept 18 2001 (I always remember that date because it was exactly one week after the 911 incident) and yes, there are bullies even in the work place! High School doesn’t necessarily end just because ppl graduated. You might ask me why this happened to me? The answer is simple, Because I allowed it. And why did I allow it? Most likely I just never believed that I deserved better! I also never realized that this was not a proper way to run a business until I began my own business! Sure, maybe there might be childish stuff going on among the employees but from the management??? I DON’T THINK SO! It was best to remove myself from such small minded ppl altho the company in itself and the customers are totally awesome! I would just never advise anyone to work at that particular location and to actually go to another location where things are run more professionally!
Who do I want to be now? I want to be a strong, confident, fun, motivating, leader, great mother, great friend, great business partner, totally awesome Independent Team Beachbody Coach, a group exercise instructor and everyone enjoys coming to my class! All of this are things that anybody can do so there fore, I can also and even better! So my favorite mentor says “Chalene Johnson” I have been following her for a little over two years now. I just this morning logged into a diary that I had put on my iphone a little over two years ago and read some of the past entries and let me be perfectly honest with you, it was the same sob story time and time again! What I am complaining about today, I was pretty much complaining about last year and the year before! So pretty much, I am basically doing the same things over and over again expecting different results! Except for the fact that I left that job! So I NEED to stop going backwards and move forward!
So, I wrote about it here about re-inventing in my 40′s because I do have pretty many readers so this is my accountability right here! This might all sound like a self pity party now but that’s ok, It needed to be said and now time to make those changes
So, to re-invent yourself in your 40′s? This is probably about my 100th new beginning but I’ve always heard that it really doesn’t matter how many times we need to start over as long as we keep trying!